To A Brighter Future
by RebelVale23
Summary: Tanya, decided to take life and death into her own hands. What should have been the end turned into a second chance. But is it a second chance? Will this new life be better or end the same as her old one? Will she overcome or fall prey to the pressure of life and death again?
1. Chapter 1

**Warning** **: This is rated M for a reason. If you are uncomfortable with such reality situation such as the following, suicide, depression, emotional issues, then please skip this chapter. It is the only chapter of the entire story that will have a dark scene like this.**

 **Disclaimer** **: I do not own Dragon Age or any of the characters. I do own my OC.**

For years, she told herself she would not fall down that path again. She even got help, yet, here she is about to go through with it this time. The last time she couldn't, but if ever presented the chance again, she knew she would do it.

They said she was being overdramatic, stupid. No one understood, said she didn't lose a parent, only a grandparent. It was always about everyone else, never her. She was never allowed to shed tears in the public, to never express how much the older woman meant to her even after death.

When no one came to help her, not even her best friend, she knew it was the end. Darkness had been creepy up for a while now, but without a light, it suffocates her. No matter what she did, nothing helped. And when a light shined in the darkness, she would run only to have it fade to black once again. People would come and go, never stay to help her, never there when she called on them like they said they would be.

So, alone with no hope of a future, she stands. Everyone said she would be fine, that she'll get over it. No one gets over something, they choose to ignore it or take the easy road. Oh, she knows this is not the easy road even though many will say so. No, she's fought numerous battles, each leaving a scar upon her very being spiritually and emotionally. Just because there were never any scars physically did not mean she was okay. No, she has fought even with this choice.

Looking at her reflection in the mirror, she finds a very gaunt face. Weeks of eating next to nothing yet no one saw a difference. People asked if she was dieting because she looks amazing. Of course, they would ask her that. Maybe if they had paid closer attention to her, what was happening, then they could have done something. Or not as no one seems to care as she learned the first time around.

Piercing dark eyes look back at her, no life in them. Hair a mess and skin pale from isolating oneself from sunlight. Shaky hands pick up the bottle. She dumps the pills in her hands and shoves them in her mouth. Grabbing the water bottle next to her, the woman swallows the pills and repeats until the bottle is empty.

Leaving the bottle empty at the sink, she walks into her room. There was no turning back this time. There wasn't even any hesitation. No, no one could help her this time. It will only be a matter of how long it takes for someone to come check on her, to find out where she is.

Laying on her bed, the woman closes her eyes knowing she won't be opening them again in this life. To finally escape and leave this hell hole, it eases her soul, lifts a burden from her shoulders. Freedom, to finally get away from everyone who dare lie to her face. They knew what she was capable of when darkness rises to this degree in her life yet no one came to help pull her out of the waters, keep her from drowning in her own grief and pain. There was no one. No one.

Pounding, that's what is throbbing in her head. It's as if someone hit her over the head with something hard. Opening her eyes slowly, the woman sees a brick pattern floor and her hands chained. _Wait! What?_

Her eyes widen at the sight of her very hands chained in some sort of medieval cuffs. The sound of metal ringing causes her to look up. All around her, well only four people, are standing with swords drawn.

There's clearly something wrong with this picture. She shouldn't even be alive. So, what the hell happened to her.

The heavy metal door of her clearly prison is slammed opened. Once again, her eyes widen. _Fuck! No! This can't be true!_

Clad in silver and purple armor with red hair is a fictional woman. Next to her another woman who should not exist. Nothing makes sense. _Why of all things did this have to happen?!_

A sharp pain courses through her left arm starting at her hand. It causes her to fall on her side in pain, a green light pulsing from her hand. Someone drags her up into a sitting position even though she's still in pain.

"Why should we not kill you?!"

In pain and anger, she hollers out, begs, "Just kill me! Please just kill me!"

This causes both women to take a step back shocked. This was not what they expected, to find the woman with the green mark on her hand begging for them to kill her, end her very own life as she is in tears.

 **I know this was a very depression chapter. Depression, emotional issues, and suicide is not something that should be fooled around with. I personally have suffered all of the above but never went through my plan. I did get help. In a way, I want to these mental issues brought to light but also to give hope. It's titled, "** To a Brighter Future, **" for a reason. Even though one may go through depression such as the OC, there is always a future filled with hope with better people who can and will help you unlike others.**

 **So please do not critize me. I like to use the motto,** If you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything. **I'm aware of what I'm getting into with this story but I want to write it.**

 **However, please do leave a review or message me. Thank you.**

 **-RebelVale23**


	2. Chapter 2

**Yo! RebelVale23 here! Sorry about how depressing that last chapter was. Any concerns, let me know. I've suffered depression so I felt I should add a wee bit of it in. Either way, it's a yucky cloudy day that threatens to rain yet has not kept its word. Hope you all are having better weather than me.**

 **VODKA18:** Thank you.

 **Cheers to another chapter! Let the future be brighter even as I do not own Dragon Age except for my OC. Cheers!**

* * *

Why does everything end up waking up with a migraine? That's exactly what keeps happening, thinks the woman lying in a large bed as she stares at the ceiling curiously.

Creaking of a door causes her to slowly sit up in wonder. Her sudden awareness surprises the female elf who came in, causing her to drop the crate she is carrying. The woman backs away, "I'm sorry! I did not know you were awake!"

Dark eyes look at her confused but sighs, "It's okay."

"Lady Cassandra said to inform her right away when you woke. Right away she said!" And like that, the frightened elf takes off out of the small cabin, kind enough to shut the door on her way out. However, she forgot the crate.

Feeling tired still, the woman stands up noting the interesting clothes she's wearing. Deciding to worry about it later, she scans the room for something else to wear remembering there's snow outside meaning it's cold. Going out barefoot and in what she assumes are silk pants and a shirt would do her no good.

Sitting on the desk folded neatly is a set of simple winter gear. Without pause, the pale woman tugs the brown boots on along with a simple gray cloak. It's thick and warm which is all she needs for now.

Leaning against the desk is a simple staff made of wood with a twisted knob for a top, an emerald color stone set in it. It reminds her that what has happened from her first death to waking up in this life truly happened. That she is a mage, a dweller of magic. It's so weird especially considering the fact she has no clue how to even use magic. That day of fighting demons was a nightmare but also the cherry on top of everything that has happened; panic because she can't figure out how to use magic to dreading being alive and anger when she just wanted her life to end. This was not what she wanted, to be put in a fictional world turned reality. To be the one person she did not want to be, a leader and responsible for this big thing.

Shaking her head, dark red hair falling in her face. Shoving it behind her normal rounded ears, the woman exits the cabin only to freeze where she is standing. In front of her are people, survivors and guards who have created a path of sorts that no doubts lead up to the Chantry. Of course, this would happen.

Taking a shaky breath, the woman tugs the cloak tighter around her thin frame and starts walking. The soldiers salute her. Then the whispers. There are those declaring her the Herald of Andraste while others proclaim her brave actions of closing the Breach.

A guard opens the door of the stone building at the top of the hill overseeing everything. The man kindly points her in the right direction, "They are waiting for you in the war room milady. Go straight and through that door."

A simple nod acknowledges and thanks the man for his advice. She couldn't speak yet, not when everything is starting to come crashing in on her once again. The cold numbs her body but the heat melts from inside the Chantry melts it away, returns feeling to her small frame.

The Chantry women and men turn at her appearance. They watch her. Oh, why did they have to stop and stare at her, whisper among themselves? All she wanted was to be invisible, not recognized like this. Never like this.

With hurried steps, she pushes the door straight ahead open not realizing she just interrupted an argument until the female Seeker states, "Dismiss that action and leave." She blinks up as the two soldiers there leave, the door shutting behind them.

Only then does she realize there are several people in the room. Of course, she's not hearing what is going on. Well that is until someone touches her shoulder, bringing her back to life.

"S-sorry! What were you saying?"

The Chantry man frowns get worse if that's even possible, "How do you expect to make an image out of her if she does not even listen? I stand by my word, chain and send her off to Val Royeaux to be judged!"

What?! Setting her jaws tight, the woman glares at the man, "Who do you think you are to decide my fate? You're not God so you have no right to judge me! And on top of that," she holds up her left hand which is glowing green slightly, "I have this thing that still does not explain what really happened! Then there's the Breach that's not permanently sealed, only temporary! You would have me judged and sentenced to death when I'm clearly the only one who can deal with the Breach? You are a fool!"

The entire room is quiet. Her anger got the best of her. No, she was sick and tired of it all, of putting up with everyone's shit. Fuck them all. That's how she feels. People are the reason why she killed herself in the first place. And even now people try to tell her how to live her life, that she should go and be judged and die again. She broke her promise to herself once, not to go down that dark road and go through with suicide.

Never again. Never again will she stand by and let people get to her. She should have sought out other people, got helped, but it was so hard and too much. Even now she knows it will be hell, if not worse and literally with the demons they fight, but she won't let anyone tell her how to live or ignore her in her cry of need ever again.

"Look, I don't know what you think sentencing me through judgement will solve, but right now we have more important matters. That giant green hole is still in the sky. I still have this _thing_ ," she raises her hand higher, "and no one knows what truly happened. So instead of being an idiot, let's put out heads together and figure this out."

All the man can do is huff in anger at having been humiliated. So, what else does he do but storm out of the room. The redhead woman merely stares at the door the man left through. She mumbles, "Idiot."

Turning around to face the other occupants, she's met with impressed expressions and a few smiles. Just staring at these people puts her off balance in the sense that this entire thing is surreal, like she's just dreaming but dreams sure don't hurt like this one. _Okay, so this isn't a dream_ , decides the woman.

Cassandra merely has raised a brow, "I am impressed. Not many would talk to Chancellor Roderick like you have."

The Antivan woman chuckles, "As rude as that was, you did bring up several important points. Oh! Where are my manners! I am Lady Josephine Montilyet. You have already met Leliana Nightingale and Cassandra Pentaghast. Then this is Commander Cullen Rutherford."

 _This is still so surreal._ Since Josephine introduced them all, it seems only fair to give her name, "Nice to formerly meet y'all. I'm Tanya."

Tanya, just Tanya. There was no reason for her to give a surname as in this reality she never existed. From now on she would remain as Tanya with no surname.

* * *

 **Yo! Thanks for sticking around and reading. Leave a comment below on your thoughts or what you think. Have a wonderful day! ^-^**


	3. Chapter 3

**Yo! Me again! How's everyone doing?**

 **Well good news, I have yet another giant cup of coffee. :)**

 **Sephchipmunk:** Love the name! Anyway, chapter two was the correct chapter. The answer to your question is in this chapter. Any other questions, just ask!

 **Onwards! I do not own Dragon Age. I do own my OC Tanya!**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

"Uh?" Tanya stares at the mage in question. She has no idea what he just said. The man just explained the principles of magic and how to wield with even giving examples.

The elven apostate runs a hand down his face, "How have you survived this long Herald?"

"Uh, I'm not sure?" That was more of a question than a statement. "Okay, can you try explaining all of this again to me in simpler words? Maybe analogies used for the examples?"

Oh, who is she kidding? For the past hour, Solas has been trying to explain and show her how to yield magic. The fact she made it through the horde of demons they fought earlier when she first woke up here is a miracle. Then again, she did just swing the staff around with random bursts of emotions bursting out at the enemies.

Solas simply smiles at the woman. Although she is a shem, the Herald is devoted to trying to learn how to yield her magic. He's surprised that someone such as her does not know how to use magic when she should have been taught at a young age. Perhaps more of her memory is missing than what they anticipated.

"Have you tried meditation? It may help your concentration and control of magic?"

Meditate? Tanya's heard of it but has never tried it before. Even in her other word she never found a reason to try it. Then again, her world wasn't this one where there is magic, elves, dwarves, and everything else one can imagine.

She stares at him, "No?" Again, with the questions rather than statements.

So, the elf leads the Herald through meditation for the first time. They keep at it for a while before he calls it a day on their lesson. He offers some advice though, "Practice meditation when you first get up and before going to sleep. It should help. We will try again teaching you magic tomorrow Herald."

Standing, the short woman of five foot exactly stretches her arms above her head. Her mind is elsewhere today. "Mmm… okay. Tomorrow."

With that she walks away with a simple thank you. She doesn't have anywhere specific in mind as she wanders, greeting survivors who stumbled to their small camp, the place called Haven.

It's still so hard to believe that so much has happened in such a short period. First, she wakes up begging for them to kill her as she should have been dead in the first place. Next thing she knows, Cassandra has dragged her through the small village of Haven and toward the green hole in the sky that they were calling the Breach.

After that, Tanya snapped out of her state of depression and entered one of fear. To be helpless in a situation after the bridge burst into hundreds of pieces with a demon coming at her put fear in her. She didn't know what to do except grab the stick with the twisty knob and whack the life out of the demon only to have a burst of fire incinerate the beast. That was her first experience of magic.

From then onwards, she would experience bursts of fire while whacking the demons. It was not the most productive way of fighting; however, it did the job at the time. Then the green glow on her hand, was thrusted toward a smaller breach thing they later called rifts. Turns out she was and still is the key to this mess.

When she closed the first rift, it was the first time meeting the apostate aka elven rogue mage Solas and the dwarf story teller Varric. And when things couldn't get any worse, they do. Turns out the chancellor wanted to kill her or ship her off right then and there. Then Cassandra had the guts to ask her whether they should charge with the soldiers or go through the mountains and try to rescue the team of soldiers they lost contact with. Tanya was drained mentally, physically, and emotionally. The simplest choice, one she chose due to being numb in disbelief and exhaustion, the woman chose to charge.

The temple left in ruins was worse. She couldn't believe the damage and hundreds if not thousands of lives that evaporated here. It was then the Breach they had to face, the huge demon that fell from it. She still can't wrap her mind around the different types of demons there are. Guess that's another thing to add to her list of studying. After they manage to get the Breach temporary close, better than it sitting open and spitting out rifts and demons, she passed out.

Since then, the Inquisition came to life starting with them. Watching the sunset over the lake or is that a pond, Tanya sighs in defeat. There is so much to do and learn on top of the hundreds of thousands of things she knows she must do across the continent. Then the hundreds of lives that have yet to be taken. It is damaging to the mind, but she made a promise to herself; she can't end her life again. She can't do it again, not without truly fighting and reaching out to others first.

* * *

 **Thank you for reading! Hope you all have a wonderful day!**

 **-RebelVale23**


	4. Chapter 4

**I'm back! I hope you all are having a splendid day! Anyway, I wanted to let you know two things:**

 **1\. I do not plan to write consistently, i.e. update once a week or every other week or every Monday. I write and post when I feel inspired too.**

 **2\. Good news! Start taking the poll that is on my page now. This will determine who she should end up with. You have up to two votes per person. If you click other, either leave a comment on other or shoot me a message on who the other is. Other can be any non-romance characters such as Krem or Dagna, or it can be any character from the previous two games: i.e. Alistair, Zevran, Hawke, Fenris. This poll will stay up for the next few chapters so you have plenty of time.**

 **Alastair279:** Thank you for the reply. I try to take different routes than everyone else or do something that I haven't come across. Your review made my day so thank you!

 **VODKA18:** Thank you!

 **Anyway, here's to another chapter! Enjoy!**

* * *

 **Chapter Five**

It has been a few days. Since then, the woman has started to get a grasp on her magic, even just a little. Every morning, she would spend hours practicing summon fire and control it, after some meditation that is. From that, she would attend a light lunch with Ambassador Josephine. This would ensure she eats as well as learn a few things political ethics. Afternoons would be spent in a combination of meetings about how to move forward and training with her staff with Seeker Cassandra.

Today is no different, sitting on the edge of the pond by herself, the woman stares out into the mountains. A flame is in her hands sits there not only for a way of trying her stamina magic wise but giving off warmth. The only difference is not exhausting her energy like she usually does in the morning with magic practice. Tanya did not feel like exhausting herself as usual.

"Herald!" hollers a man. Looking up, a man dressed in the scout uniform with the Inquisition symbol on his uniform is running toward him.

She watches as the man trying to catch his breath. "Yes?"

"T-the blacksmith…wants y-you for-r…armor…"

All she can do is stare at him as she remembers something about the blacksmith making her some armor. "Thank you. Is there anything else? If not, you're dismissed."

The man stands and salutes her. "No ma'am!" Then he runs toward the clearing of soldiers and other scouts training under the commanders

Closing her fists, the ball of orange flames disperses into nothing. She eyes the snowy mountains, small critters wandering across the very tips disappearing over the other side. Standing, the woman stretches before turning on her feet and following the path.

In no time, she arrives at the blacksmith, located just outside the main walls of Haven. The man looks up at her, "About time Herald. Got your armor ready."

In a matter of minutes, the man has the Herald dressed in the light armor consisting of a leather vest over a much sturdier leather jacket. The boots he handed her are sturdier and warmer, made of the same leather as the rest of her armor is made of. It's simple, nothing like the armor of warriors. Instead, it is light and easy to move in.

"How does it feel?" asks the smith.

The woman stretches her arms above her head, "Good. It's warm, sturdy, and easy to move in. Thank you."

This causes the man to grin, "Good. Glad to know you approve of it. If you ever need anything crafted, come to me. Find any schematics you want me to make, find the materials and bring it to me. I'll craft whatever you need Herald."

Nodding her head, the woman leaves her other sad excuse boots behind for the blacksmith to figures something out with them. On that note, she takes the path up to the gate. Inside, as she is just beginning to walk past the small fire before the stairs leading to the Chantry, a dwarf with red hair stops her.

"Got time to chat Herald?"

The woman looks down at the dwarf, "Of course Varric." Changing courses, she takes a seat on a piece of log next to Varric.

Varric asks, "How you holding up Firecracker?"

Firecracker; that's the nickname he gave her. All because she would randomly let out bursts of fire when they first met under namely circumstances. Since waking in Haven, her training sessions with Solas has been unpredictable once she was able to summon her magic at will. For a while, it was wild flames of fire that would give her a scare before dispersing with a cracking sound. Since then, the dwarf refuses to call her anything but Firecracker.

Leaning forward, arms resting on her knees, the dark red-haired woman watches the flames of the small fire. Fire always intrigues her now, as a child, it always scared her. "To be honest, numb. Too much has happened to quickly for me to process it all. There's no time to sit back and digest it all."

"I hear you. Since the hole in the sky, shits been falling like crazy. I'm surprised you're still sane."

Teal eyes look up from the crackling ablaze logs. "Sane? I don't believe in sane."

There it is, thinks Varric. He spots the darkness that swirls uncontrollably in her eyes again. It's times like this, when you mention something like death and sanity that causes them to become dangerously dark. No one knows her story. No one knows where she came from, what family she is from. The only information they have is she is unstable, too much memory missing, unable to perform adequate magic as she should have.

Deciding to lighten the mood, he grins, "You're right. No one is sane. We're all crazy. Some just show it more. So, how's that training going for you Firecracker? Any more mini explosions with that fire of yours?"

The dwarf watches as she opens the palm of her right hand, the hand without the mark on it. A flame bursts to life in the palm and stays steady. She continues to watch it. It's unnerving how she didn't have control over her magic yet here she is a few weeks later holding a flame steadily. It's unnerving.

"I've got the gist of it now. There's still so much to learn, but at least now I have control over summoning my magic even if it is nothing but a ball of flame. It's better than nothing. And if that fails," she looks up with a grin, "I'll just use my staff to beat the life out of the demons."

Varric can't help but grin with her. She takes everything with more than a grain of salt. She grabs a fist of it and throws it everywhere. Why take just what little you need. Take what you can, and use it. If she can't use her magic, then she'll find another way to fight. It's this reason he can't help but wonder what the future holds for her. There's something about this woman that makes you wonder just who she is and what she can do given time.

* * *

 **And that's a wrap. Sorry for the delay. I've had quite a hard time with writer's block. But finally, I think I am getting somewhere with this story.**

 **Comment, Review, and Vote at the Poll! After all, that Poll will remain standing for quite a while!**

 **-RebelVale**


End file.
